


Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark

by alienat



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:09:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienat/pseuds/alienat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jensen kills the Alpha of another pack, he makes a discovery that will change his life and the lives of people very dear to him forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dont_hate_me01](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dont_hate_me01/gifts).



> This was written for [](http://dont-hate-me01.livejournal.com/profile)[**dont_hate_me01**](http://dont-hate-me01.livejournal.com/) for the [](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/)**spn_j2_xmas** exchange. I took your prompt ‘Alpha!Jensen takes over a new pack after defeating and killing that Alpha, only to find that there's a omega (Jared) that's been abused by the old Alpha and now belongs to him’ and went with it, hon. I really hope you like the way it turned out. The art was made by my sweetheart amysticka.

  
  
 

  
 

Loud steps sound on the stairs, echoing through the otherwise silent house. Jensen knows it has to be a member of the pack's Guard. No one else would dare to step foot into the house after Jensen had asked them for privacy. Even the member of the Guard isn’t comfortable with disregarding the Alpha's orders - Jensen can smell it. 

He looks into the mirror hanging on the wall above the sink. Where he'd normally see freckles on his face, there are now blood spatters covering the tanned skin. The coppery taste of blood won't leave his mouth and his hands are drenched in it. 

It's not the first time he’s killed another werewolf.

He's had his fair share of other Alphas challenging him for his status of pack Alpha, especially since he's young and still remains unmated in his late twenties. But Jensen's been preparing to be pack Alpha from the moment he was born and when his father suddenly passed away five years ago, he was more than ready to take over the task. He's proved it more than once since then. 

This time though, it’s different. This time it had been Jensen challenging the other Alpha and he'd waited eighteen years to do so. 

There's a knock on the door, pulling him out of his thoughts and he turns around the moment Steve walks into the bathroom. If Jensen still being covered in his foe's blood shocks the lieutenant of the pack's Guard, he doesn't show it. 

Instead he says, "You really have to come see this, Alpha."

Jensen and Steve grew up together, both of them very well aware of their future positions in the pack. It didn't keep them from becoming close friends and confidants. If Steve is here now, it means that whatever is going on needs Jensen's immediate attention. 

"Let me just get cleaned up a little," he says and splashes water onto his face and hands, rubbing the blood off as best as possible. "Let's go."

He follows Steve down the stairs and thanks the young female Alpha, who's sitting on the porch, still looking shell-shocked, for her hospitality. She nods shakily and then vanishes into the house quickly. Jensen knows that he has to win their trust first before they will wholeheartedly accept that he's their Alpha now. 

A car is waiting outside and Jensen can see Christian, another high-ranking member of the guard, sitting behind the wheel. 

"You wanna fill me in on what's going on?" Jensen asks, dropping into the passenger seat. Steve gets into the rear of the car, giving Chris the sign to get going. 

"We were searching Pellegrino's house, just like you asked," Steve starts explaining. "We found something we think you should see."

"But you're not telling me what it is?"

"You wouldn't believe us," Christian growls and Jensen can feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. It makes him wonder what they’ve found that makes a member of his Guard so angry. 

It takes them five minutes to get to Pellegrino's old house and he's a little surprised when he finds half the Guard standing on the porch. All of them seem tense and on edge. Something is really wrong here. 

Jensen gets out of the car and makes his way up the porch stairs. The moment he opens the front door a sweet smell hits him. It makes him dizzy for a second and his wolf roars inside of him, demanding that Jensen goes and stakes his claim. He takes a step back, pulling the door shut again. 

"What the hell?" he demands, spinning around to face Christian and Steve. "What's going on here?"

"It looks like Pellegrino was keeping an Omega in heat in his basement. Jeff's down there with him now."

"Him?" Jensen raises his eyebrows in surprise. 

Male Omegas are rare and many packs believe that they're unnatural and disgusting because they go into heat, even though they can't get pregnant. It looks like Pellegrino believed the same. It makes Jensen shudder with disgust. Jensen's father taught him to always respect all werewolves of his pack: Alphas, Betas, and Omegas. They’re all valuable to the community and to their solidarity. 

Right now there are about fifty Omegas in Jensen's pack, one of them male, and Jensen wouldn't dream of treating Misha any differently from any other members of his pack. He’s been happily mated to Vicky for ten years and Jensen was there when Jensen's father gave them his blessing. 

"There is more, Alpha," Steve says. "You really need to take a look at the Omega." 

Jensen frowns. He knows it's his responsibility to take care of any pack member and Pellegrino's pack is his responsibility now. But the smell - it clouds his judgment and his wolf comes too close to the surface. He needs to get a grip on it before he can dare take another step inside. Jensen takes a few steady breaths, before pushing open the door to the house. 

The smell hangs heavily in the air and his wolf fights for control. Jensen pushes his fingernails into the soft skin of his palms, needing the pain to help him stay in control. He can't let the wolf take over, not with an unmated male Omega in heat in the house. 

It feels like a long time before Jensen makes it to the bottom of the basement stairs, where Jeff is sitting. Jeff has been in command of the Guard since Alan, Jensen's father, founded it eighteen years ago. 

"Alpha." Jeff gets up from the stairs. He looks pretty much unaffected by the smell hanging in the air and Jensen knows that's because Jeff has been happily mated to Samantha for the last thirty-five-years. Mated werewolves are less affected by the smell of an unmated Omega in heat. 

"Steve said you found a male Omega in heat down here," Jensen says and his voice sounds very far away to him. He really needs to get a grip on this. 

Jeff nods. "Come, I'll show you."

Jensen follows Jeff further down into the cellar. He thinks he's prepared for what Jeff will show him, but he still gasps at the sight that meets him. The Omega is on the floor, shackled to the wall with silver chains that are attached at his ankles, wrists and neck. He's naked and sweaty; his long hair falling into his face and Jensen can hear low moans escaping his lips. It literally pains Jensen to hear the Omega in so much distress. 

He takes a step closer to the Omega, but Jeff's hand closes around his bicep. Jensen snarls, but Jeff doesn't release him. He points to the Omega's form, to a dark spot on his hipbone in particular. Jensen swallows hard because it can't be what he thinks it is: a birthmark in the shape of a wolf. 

The only other time he's seen a birthmark like this had been over eighteen years ago and that boy died in a fire started by Pellegrino himself. 

_"Jen. Look, Jen." Jared's pointing to the birthmark on his hipbone. "I'm a wolf."_

_Jensen laughs and ruffles the four-year-old's hair. "That you are."_

Jared shifts and runs around Jensen's legs, yipping at his legs. Jensen laughs, catching the little ball of fur, picking him up. Jared licks his face excitedly and Jensen knows that whenever he mates, he’ll mate with Jared.

"It can't be," he whispers, pulling free of Jeff's grip. He makes his way over to the Omega on the floor, falling to the floor next to him. His thumb brushes over the birthmark and he feels his skin tingle. His wolf is roaring, but Jensen has always prided himself on being rational. He doesn't like the wolf taking over and even though it's been a close call ever since he stepped into the house, he's still in control of his senses. 

The Omega beneath him moans loudly, pushing into Jensen's touch. His legs fall open and Jensen can see that his cock is rock-hard and leaking. It takes all the strength Jensen can muster to get away from the Omega. He stumbles against Jeff, who catches him.

"Get him out of here," Jensen stutters. "Take him to my house. The guest room should be nice enough. And get him some toys or something. I want a mated member of the Guard at his door all the time too and nobody is to enter the room until his heat is over. Got it?"

"Of course, Alpha." 

Jeff is already on his way over to free the Omega, when Jensen grabs his arm. "Don't you breathe a word of this to anyone outside of the Guard, you get me? First we need to be sure."

"I'll talk to the guys, Alpha."

Jensen nods. He knows he can trust Jeff to make sure that the members of the Guard will keep their mouths shut. 

Steve and Christian are waiting outside for him, and Jensen sighs. "I really don't want to talk about it right now. I'll see you at the house."

He shifts, ripping his clothes in the process, before his friends can say anything and he's already running down the street, stretching his legs, when he hears Steve call after him. But he needs some time for himself. 

Their village lies just behind the woods and it won’t take Jensen long to get there, even though it takes over an hour by car. For now, he'll have to make the journey more often until all of the one-hundred-fifty werewolves of Pellegrino's pack have moved to Jensen's pack grounds. But organizing the logistics will take a while and Jensen looks forward to being able to run and stretch his legs more often now. 

His thoughts wander from Pellegrino's pack to the male Omega in heat to Jared. Jared, who he’d believed to be dead for eighteen years. 

_Smoke is hanging in the air, making it hard to breathe and see. Jensen is breaking through the woods. He can hear the pack screaming, some are crying and Jensen looks around for the source of the smoke._

_His eyes grow wide when he sees that several houses are on fire. His mother is on the street, looking around frantically and he rushes over to her, shifting back into his human form._

_"Mom?"_

_"Oh my God, Jensen. There you are. I was so worried."_

_"Mom, what's going on? Where's Josh and Mackenzie? Where's Dad?"_

_"I don't know." She shakes her head. "Mackenzie's at Sherry's. Your Dad went to help with the burning houses."_

_"Mom, Jensen." Josh comes running towards them. "Padalecki's house is on fire."_

_"Oh my God," Jensen's mom gasps._

_"Jared," Jensen whispers. He's only ten years old but he knows that he needs to keep Jared safe. Everything will be okay if Jared's safe._

__He runs after his mom and Josh, and when they get to the Padalecki’s house it’s ablaze. Flames are coming out of every window and Jensen can hear something inside collapsing, just as his Dad comes out of the front door, carrying Sherry and two pups. Jensen lets out a deep breath, Megan and Mackenzie are safe. But where is Jared?_ _

He looks around. The pup is not there. 

_"Jared!" he screams at the top of his lungs, feeling them fill with smoke. "Jared!"_

_Sherry spins around to look at him with wide eyes. "He's not with you? I thought he was with you."_

_Jensen shakes his head. "No, I went into the woods and Jared's not allowed. I..."_

_"We'll find him, Son," his father says, coughing a little, but the hand on Jensen's shoulder is strong._

_At that moment the Padalecki house collapses, leaving nothing but black wood and ash, which brings them all back to the task at hand. They manage to extinguish the fire on the other houses after that and hours later the smoke is finally fading, giving way to a picture of destroyed houses and landscape. Everyone is accounted for apart from Jared._

_They don't find him, not that day or the day after. What they find though, is the body of a six-year-old wolf in the debris of the Padalecki house._

Nothing has been the same ever since. 

Jensen slows down when he sees the end of the woods and breaks through the branches, entering his own back yard. He shifts back to his human form, falling to his knees. The memory of fire, smoke and Jared missing, feels so damn real that it makes his head spin. Just like in one of his nightmares. 

"Jensen?"

He looks up to see his mother standing on the back porch and scrambles to his feet. She's one of the few people that have seen him weak and he really could use a hug right now. She wraps her arms tightly around him when he stumbles towards her, murmuring soothing platitudes. 

It takes him until he hears the car pull into the driveway out front to pull himself together. He steps away from his mother, wanting so much to tell her that maybe Jared's still alive. But he can't, not until he's one-hundred percent sure. 

"I need to go, Mom."

She nods and cups his face, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. She knows exactly what it means to be Alpha of a pack. He can't imagine how hard it was for her to see his dad off every time he left. 

"I'm glad you're back," she says. "Remember we're having dinner on Sunday night."

Jensen smiles. "How could I forget?" He hears Jeff's voice telling Jason and Vicky to take the Omega to the guest room. 

"Go, take care of whatever it is that needs your attention," his mom says and he loves her for it. 

He kisses her cheek and then makes his way into the house. The smell of the Omega is hanging in the air and Jensen closes his eyes, counting to ten. When he opens his eyes again, he's in control of himself again. 

Jeff stands at the bottom of the stairs and raises his head when he notices Jensen. "Alpha, you think it was a good idea to have the Omega brought here?"

"Where else would we take him?"

"You’re unmated, Alpha."

Jensen snarls. "I also know how to control myself, Jeff."

Jeff hangs his shoulders, showing his submission. "Excuse my indiscretion, Alpha. Of course you do."

Jensen sighs. "I'm sorry, Jeff. You said nothing wrong. I'll stay with Steve for the time being."

"What do you think, Alpha? Is this really Jared?"

"I don't know, Jeff. I don't know."

  
 

The pain slowly subsides and his head gives way to more than _wantneedfuckmerightnow_ and _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_. He feels drained and absolutely disgusted with himself. Why can't he control it? Why does he have to be the freak that rubs and offers himself up to every single male werewolf in the pack twice a year? 

Jared pulls his legs to his chest and for the first time in what feels like forever he falls into a deep sleep. 

When he opens his eyes again, the first thing he notices is that the heat has finally let him out of its grasp. He lets out a relieved breath. The second thing he notices is that he's not in Mark’s basement anymore. He's in a room that's brightly lit by the sun shining through the translucent curtains. It's decorated in beige, brown and light blue, and Jared's certain he has never been in this room before. 

What the hell? Did Mark finally make good on his threats and send Jared away while he was in heat? 

He remembers faintly that there were some men in the basement and all of a sudden he feels sick. Mark has been all he's ever known since he was six years old, and his parents and the rest of his pack died in a horrible fire. Even if Mark is an ass and he thinks of Jared as the lowest of the low because of his disgusting habit to go into heat every six months, he has still been the only family Jared had for the last eighteen years. 

The door to his room opens and Jared scrambles back on his bed until he hits the wall. In walks an older man with salt and pepper hair and a scruffy beard. He smiles and Jared relaxes just a little bit. The man wouldn't smile at him if he wanted to hurt him, would he? 

"Hi, my name's Jeff. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thank you."

Jeff nods. "Good. How about you take a shower and then meet me and the Alpha downstairs? There'll be breakfast waiting for you."

"The Alpha? You mean Mark?" Jared asks confused. 

A frown appears on Jeff's face and he shakes his head. "It's not my place to explain things to you, but the Alpha will."

"But..." Jared starts

Jeff stops him by holding up a hand. "The scrambled eggs are getting cold," he says with a wink and adds, "I promise you Jensen will explain everything to you." 

He's gone so fast that Jared can't ask any more questions. He sighs and gets up from the bed, only now realizing that he's been naked the whole time. Oh God what must Jeff think of him? That he's still trying to get into anyone's pants probably. Jared feels himself blushing fiercely. Mark would rip him a new one if he knew what an ass Jared’s just made out of himself. 

Shaking with shame he walks into the bathroom and steps into the shower. The water is hot right from the start and Jared scrubs his body fervently, trying to wash all evidence of his freakishness off him. 

He thinks of Jeff's words and figures that he's not at Mark's place anymore - not that he hadn't figured that out right away - but also that he's not on Mark's pack grounds anymore either. Jeff said the Alpha would explain everything. Jensen would explain everything. 

Jared knew a Jensen once, too. He, like everyone else who Jared had loved, died in the fire that extinguished the pack he was born into. He sighs. Wallowing in the past doesn't help one bit and it's better that they're dead anyway. Jared's glad that he could spare his parents the embarrassment and pain of finding out that he’s an Omega. 

When his skin is bright red and scrubbed over it hurts, Jared steps out of the shower and towels off. Walking back into the room he woke up in, he finds underwear, socks, jeans and a t-shirt lying on the bed. He gets dressed and takes a deep breath before opening the door to the room. The hallway is empty, but he can hear two men talking downstairs.

He makes his way down the stairs and turns right in direction of the voices. The hallway leads him into a broad light-colored kitchen. Two men, one of them Jeff, turn around when he walks inside. 

"Hey, there you are," Jeff says. "Take a seat. Breakfast is almost ready."

But Jared is rooted to the spot, his eyes glued to the werewolf next to Jeff. Green eyes, freckles and the smell of wet grass and rain. All of it is so familiar that it makes Jared's head spin; Jensen is dead, he can't be standing in this kitchen right now. 

"Jared? You okay?"

Jared blinks when the werewolf that must be Jensen speaks. He never told them his name. Did Mark tell them his name? He's feeling dizzy and when he stumbles a little, Jensen is there, steadying him. The touch sparks something deep inside him, something long forgotten. He looks into Jensen's eyes and he can see that Jensen is feeling it too. 

"It's okay, Jay," Jensen whispers, wrapping his arms around Jared, hugging him tight. "You're home now. Everything will be fine."

Jay. Nobody ever called him that. It had been Jensen's name for him while everyone else called him JT. It had been special and now this werewolf is calling him that as if he knows exactly how special it had been. Is this really Jensen? His Jensen? The Jensen who had played with him even though he had been four years older? The Jensen who cleaned his scrapped knees and read him stories? 

"Jensen?" he asks timidly. 

Jensen pulls away a little and there are tears swimming in his eyes. He laughs, pushing Jared's long hair out of his face. "Yeah, it's me."

"How?" Jared shakes his head. "How is it... how are you alive? Mark said everyone died in the fire."

"Mark," Jensen snarls and Jared jerks involuntarily. Jensen must have realized that he spooked Jared, because he steps away, running a hand through his hair. It takes him a moment but when he speaks again, his voice is steady and soothing once more, "We thought you'd died in the fire. We found a body."

Jared frowns. "What are you talking about? Who's we? What body?"

Jensen turns back to face him. "Nobody died that day, except for you - or at least we believed it was you for eighteen years."

"What? No." Jared shakes his head, trying to make sense of everything. "I remember that day. There was fire and smoke everywhere and I heard screams. Mark, he found me, took me to safety. He told me that the fire took everyone and he could only rescue me."

Jensen huffs out a humorless laugh. "Of course he did. If I hadn't already killed him I'd kill him right now," he growls. 

Jared stumbles back, feeling as if he had been hit right in the stomach. "Mark is dead?"

Jensen groans, his shoulders slumping and he nods. "Yes, I killed him five days ago. This is not how I wanted you to find out."

"Mark is dead," Jared repeats. He doesn't know why it hits him so hard, Mark had treated him like shit ever since they found out that Jared's an Omega, but he still gave Jared a home and he was the only family Jared had known for a really long time. 

"Yes, he is." Jensen nods. "It's not like he didn't have it coming. I knew he was dangerous and a psychopath. But finding out he kidnapped you and kept you all these years? It makes me want to rip him apart again."

"It wasn't so bad," Jared says quickly. 

"It wasn't so bad. It wasn't so bad?" Jensen exclaims. "He kept you chained to the basement walls."

"Alpha, don't you think that's enough?"

Jared blinks and realizes that Jeff has been in the kitchen the whole time. Jensen seems to realize that too because he doesn't say anything else. 

"It was only twice a year," Jared defends Mark's actions. 

Before Jensen can say anything Jeff's hand lands on his shoulder and Jeff says, "How about we leave it at that and get something to eat? Jared, you must be starving."

It's only then that Jared notices the rumble in his stomach and he nods, shooting Jeff a grateful smile. He doesn't really remember the older werewolf but thinking about it, there is something faintly familiar about Jeff's smell. So he had probably been around when Jared had been a pup and it helps Jared to relax when he sits down at the table across from Jensen. 

Jensen puts pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon on Jared's plate and places it in front of him. "Here, hope you like it. I'm not the best cook, but I'm not bad either."

Jared smiles shyly. "Thank you."

Breakfast is good, the eggs are a little soggy and the bacon is a little too crisp, but everything else is just fine. 

"I haven't had pancakes in a while," he says. "They're good."

Jensen gives him a tight smile. "Good. I'm sure your mom will make you so many pancakes you'll be sick of them in the end."

Jared's eyes grow wide. His mom. His parents. He hadn't really thought about the fact that Jensen and Jeff being alive, means that they're alive too. He feels sick to his stomach all of a sudden and pushes his plate away. 

"Jared, you okay?" Jeff asks. 

"Did you tell them?" Jared asks, instead of answering Jeff's question.

Jensen frowns. "Tell them what? That we found you? No, not yet."

Jared shakes his head slowly, feeling his cheeks heat up with shame. "No, the other thing."

"What other thing?"

Jared looks up at Jensen, his cheeks aflame, but Jensen seems seriously baffled at what Jared might mean. "The Omega thing," he grits out. "Did you tell them how disgusting and what a freak of nature their son really is?"

Jensen looks taken aback and Jared curses himself inwardly for snapping at the Alpha. He slumps his shoulders and looks down at his plate, waiting for Jensen to tell him off. 

"You really believe that?" Jensen asks, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "It was Mark, wasn't it? Who told you all those things?"

Jared shrugs. "They're true. I'm a freak, going into heat twice a year, begging every werewolf to breed me, offering myself up like some cheap whore. You think my parents will be proud of a son like that? I'm sure if they find out, they'd rather I'd have really died in that fire."

Jensen gets up so quickly that his chair topples over and hits the floor with a loud bang. He slams his hand on the table and growls, "You will not talk about yourself like that. You will not put yourself down like this. It's not true. You're not a freak and you're definitely not a whore. Do you understand me?" Jared nods slowly. "In my pack everyone is a valued member: Alpha, Beta, Omega. I don't believe in degrading werewolves just because they're different from what most believe to be the norm."

"But..." Jared stutters. 

"I don't wanna hear you talking like that ever again," Jensen says, his voice soft and soothing all of a sudden. He walks around the table, cupping Jared's head between his hands to make Jared look at him. "I'm sorry I yelled. But you're none of the things Mark told you."

"I go into heat, even though I can't get pregnant," Jared mumbles. 

"That doesn't make you a freak, Jay," Jensen says. "And it certainly doesn't make you a whore." 

He rubs his thumbs over Jared's cheekbones and holy shit if that doesn't make something stir in Jared's stomach. Jared leans into the touch, relishing the gentleness Jensen displays. 

Someone clears their throat and Jared jerks his eyes open, not realizing he’d closed them. Jensen lets go of him and Jared misses his touch instantly. 

"I think I'm gonna leave you two alone," Jeff says. "There are some errands I need to run for the Guard." He gets up from his chair and then pulls Jared into a quick hug. "It's good to have you home, Son." He nods at Jensen. "Alpha."

"Thank you, Jeff. I'll see you later." The front door closes behind him and Jensen lets out an embarrassed laugh. "Guess the pheromones got the better of him."

Jared smiles shyly. He's a little confused by what's going on. All of a sudden the air is charged with this weird tension and he feels like he might burst if he doesn't get to touch Jensen right the fuck now. 

"What's happening?" he asks, feeling a little out of breath. 

Jensen kneels down in front of him, pushing Jared's hair out of his face, keeping his fingers entangled in it. "Please tell me Mark explained to you what mating is."

Jared gasps a little. He knows that werewolves mate with their soulmates for life. He just never believed that he had a soulmate as an Omega. Who would want an Omega as mate?

"I knew it the moment I saw you in that cellar. I was confused at first, but then it all became so clear," Jensen says softly. "Your smell, the way I could barely stay away from you. We're mates, Jared."

"You can't... we can't..." Jared stutters. "I'm an Omega. What will the pack think?"

Jensen smiles softly. "Nothing. We're soulmates, Jay. There is nothing they can say or do about it. We are meant to be."

Jensen leans in but Jared pushes him away a little. "But..."

"No 'but', Jared," Jensen says. "I promise we'll talk but now I really, really wanna kiss you."

Jared's eyes grow wide. Kiss? Nobody has ever kissed him. He doesn't know how. He doesn't know if he'll be any good. He wants to protest, but when he opens his mouth he feels Jensen's lips on his and it's like fireworks exploding. Jensen's lips are soft and gentle and Jared reaches up, grasping Jensen's arms for leverage. Jensen's tongue pushes between his lips and Jared can't help but moan when it touches his own tongue. 

His whole body is screaming _matematematemate_ and all he can do is hold on for the ride. 

  
 

Jensen knows that he shouldn't have kissed Jared just like that. 

He had seen the hesitancy, and maybe even a little bit of fear, on Jared's face, but he couldn't hold himself back any longer. He has waited for almost a week now, locking himself out of his own house just so that Jared could ride out his heat in peace. 

It had been pure torture once it became clear what was happening. Jensen's body and mind screaming for Jared in ways he never, ever thought possible. His friends, the ones that knew about Jared, assured him that it was normal to feel like this when first meeting your mate. 

Yes, he had always known deep down that Jared would be his mate, but they had both been children and the actual mating doesn’t happen before both soulmates hit adulthood. 

What made it worse for Jensen was that he couldn't just give in to the mating call; he had to restrain himself and that caused his inner Alpha to go a little crazy for a while. 

Being in the same house, in the same room, as Jared doesn't really help to calm his inner wolf and the feeling of Jared going soft in his arms only turns him on more. He can smell Jared; can smell that the kisses don't leave him unaffected. He should pull away, put some distance between them, but Jared smells and tastes so damn good that it's almost addictive. 

This is his mate in his arms and Jensen can't stop thinking _'minemineminemine'_. It's the little moan that escapes Jared's lips when Jensen sucks a bruise into his neck that breaks Jensen out of his stupor. He jerks away, realizing that he must have walked them over to the couch, because Jared's lying beneath him. His lips are swollen and red, his eyes half closed and Jensen can smell his arousal.

He scrambles away, off the couch and to the other end of the room, taking a few labored breaths to calm himself, to get his human side to take control again. What the hell is he doing? He can't just throw himself at Jared like this. 

Jared opens his eyes, a blush is starting to cover his cheeks, and he looks... terrified. He pushes the t-shirt that had ridden up a little down to cover his stomach again. 

"I'm sorry. I can't... I'm sorry," he says, pulling his legs towards his chest, wrapping his arms around it. 

Jensen blinks and shakes his head. "What? You have nothing to be sorry about, Jay. I'm the one who lost control. I'm sorry." He takes a step closer to the couch again, but Jared shrinks back against it. 

"No, I... it's me. Mark was right. It's unnatural." He looks at Jensen pleadingly. "I've tried, Jensen. I have, I swear. But I can't..."

Jensen rubs a hand over his face, sitting down at the other end of the couch. "What are you talking about, Jay?"

"Not getting wet," Jared says as if it should be obvious. "I know it's disgusting and wrong. But I can't... I can't stop it."

The words hit Jensen like a punch to the gut and he wishes Mark would still be alive so that he could rip his throat out once more. 

"Jared," he says softly, scooting closer. The smell of Jared's past arousal is still heavy in the air, but he ignores it the best he can. "You're not disgusting and definitely not wrong."

"I'm a freak of nature, Jensen."

It's the second time Jared’s referred to himself like that and it makes Jensen's hackles rise. His heart is hurting for his mate, while at the same time he wants to rip something apart. 

"Jared..."

"No." Jared shakes his head. "I am." He stops for a second before he continues, sounding resigned, "I'm sorry you're going to have to mate with someone like me, Jensen. You're amazing and obviously a very well respected Alpha. You shouldn't have to deal with me."

Jensen looks at Jared, feeling stunned. Mark really did a number on Jared's head and Jensen is not sure how, or if, they can fix it. But he sure as hell will try. 

"I want you to meet someone," he says, getting up from the couch. Jared looks up at him skeptically. "C'mon, it's only a couple of minutes’ drive away."

"Jensen..." Jared's voice wavers and Jensen can see the fear in his eyes. 

"Jared, I won't do anything to hurt you or let anyone else hurt you." He steps up to his mate and cups his face between his hands. "You're my mate, Jay. From now on nobody will ever touch you without my permission, okay?"

Jared looks as if he wants to believe Jensen, but still has a hard time doing so. He looks as if he expects Jensen to suddenly grab him and send him to the deepest, darkest place Jensen can find. 

"It's okay," Jensen says softly. "I get that you're scared, Jay. But I will prove to you that I mean no harm."

"Okay," Jared says slowly. 

Jensen smiles. "Good. Let's go."

They drive the five minutes to Misha and Vicky's house, and Jensen rings the bell with a shaking Jared behind him. He had taken a hold of Jared's hand, which only seemed to cause Jared more distress, so he let go of him again a second later. 

"It's gonna be okay," Jensen says quietly, but he's not sure Jared hears him, and even if he did Jensen's sure that Jared doesn't believe him. 

The front door opens and reveals Vicky, who looks a little surprised to see Jensen on the porch. "Alpha, what a pleasure. Come on in."

"Hey, Vicky." He steps aside to let Jared walk in first and then follows. "I was wondering if Misha is home and might have a minute or two for us?"

Vicky cocks her head and nods. "Sure. Let me get him for you. He's in the study, buried in one of his philosophy books again." She laughs. "It's hard to get him away from those."

Jensen grins. "That's Misha. You knew what you were getting into when you mated him."

Vicky snorts. "I sure did. Just give me a minute."

She vanishes into the back of the house and Jensen looks at Jared. "Misha is a male Omega, Jay; the only other one in the pack right now."

Jared's eyes grow wide. "But... he's mated?"

Jensen nods. "Yes, has been for the last ten years. They're very happy. Even have two pups."

Before Jared can say anything, Vicky and Misha walk back into the room. "Alpha, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Misha asks, holding out his hand. Jensen takes it and smiles. 

"It's good to see you, Misha." He turns to Jared. "This is Jared. He was living in Alpha Pellegrino's pack and he's an Omega as well. So I thought it might be a good idea if you two could talk about your experiences."

Misha smiles. "Omega, huh? You mated?" Jared shakes his head, looking down at his feet. Misha laughs. "I'm sure you've caused a lot of havoc in your old pack."

Jensen cringes at Misha's openness and Jared's obvious shock. 

"I..." Jared stutters. 

"Maybe Vicky and I should give you a little privacy," Jensen suggests. He sees that Jared wants to open his mouth in protest, but he pushes Vicky out of the room before Jared can say anything. 

  
 

Jared feels completely out of his element. He's never met another male Omega and Misha kind of scares him. 

"I'm sorry," Misha says and Jared twitches. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. It's just that normally unmated Omegas drive the pack a little crazy, especially during the heat cycles."

Jared doesn't get how Misha can talk about this so casually, when it's so wrong and disgusting. He doesn't get how Misha and Vicky can seem so happy, even though Misha is an Omega. 

"I'm guessing it wasn't so easy living in Pellegrino's pack, huh?"

Jared shakes his head. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

Misha nods. "Well, you're here now and Jensen is great. He's a very good Alpha. So you don't need to worry anymore. He cares for his pack, treats us all with respect."

"I'm sure he does." Jared can't help the small smile that steals its way on his face. "He's been very kind."

"I know not everyone treats Omegas, especially male Omegas, with respect. But you can trust Jensen," Misha says. 

"We're supposed to be mates," Jared blurts out without really knowing why he's telling Misha this. 

Misha raises his eyebrows and grins. "That's awesome."

Jared shakes his head. "No it's not. I'm not good enough for him. But he..." Jared sighs. "I'm his soulmate."

"That's a good thing, right?" Misha asks and sounds genuinely confused. 

"I'm an Omega," Jared says loudly, feeling angry that nobody seems to get why this is so bad. 

"Yeah, I got that," Misha says amusedly. "I'm an Omega too and Vicky couldn't wait to mate with me. Hell, we didn't make it out of bed for a week when we first mated and I wasn't even in heat."

"How can you talk about this so casually?" Jared asks. "This is wrong and disgusting. We're freaks." Misha looks as if Jared slapped him and he curses himself for his outburst. 

"We're not wrong, Jared. Yes, we can't get pregnant even though we go into heat, but we're not freaks." Misha huffs. "Pellegrino told you that you're a freak?"

Jared's shoulders slump and he nods. "He was right, though. I've seen videos of myself in heat. I've seen how I rub against everyone and everything, how I beg for it, how I would just spread my legs for just about everyone."

"That is why Omegas normally mate very early. When we're mated, only our Alpha will be able to satisfy our needs. We won't just let anyone else take us. I was eighteen when I mated with Vicky."

"Eighteen?" Jared asks surprised, because that was when he went into heat for the first time. 

"Yeah, I mean we knew before that we were soulmates." Misha laughs softly. "From the moment we met in high school it was clear that we belonged together, but we had to wait for each of us to come of age. Vicky first went all Alpha on me when she was seventeen and then I followed with my heat when I was eighteen. How old were you?"

Jared swallows hard. "Eighteen. Mark, he, threw a fit when he found out that I was in heat; locked me into the basement and shackled me to the wall." Misha looks horrified at what Jared says and Jared shrugs. "That's just how it was for me, y'know?"

"He locked you into the basement?"

Jared nods. "Yeah."

"That's horrible."

"I deserved it," Jared says softly.

Misha shakes his head frantically. "No you didn't. Jared, you're not wrong or disgusting. He had no right to lock you into the basement and tell you those things."

Jared lets out a small breath. He wants to believe Misha, wants to believe Jensen too, but it's hard to get rid of the voice in his head that's telling him over and over that he's wrong, dirty and disgusting. 

"Jared, you're an Omega," Misha says, his voice strong and determined. "That doesn't mean you're less. You're worth just as much as every other member in this pack. Yes, you'll go into heat twice a year, but once you're mated you'll find out that those times are the best times in the year." Jared snorts, because yeah, he doesn't think he'll ever believe that. "It's true, because making love to your mate is great all the time, but making love to your mate while you're in heat is so much more intense and breathtaking and mind blowing."

"I wish I could believe you," Jared says slowly. "I really do."

"Just let Jensen take care of you." Misha smiles. 

Jared sighs, his brain is a scrambled mess and he's getting a headache. "I think I should go."

Misha nods. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here, okay?"

"Thanks." 

Jared forces a smile and follows Misha through the house and into the kitchen. Jensen and Vicky are sitting, talking quietly over a cup of coffee. Jensen jerks his head up the moment they walk into the kitchen. His concerned eyes land on Jared and Jared wishes he could tell Jensen that everything's fine now. But nothing's fine and he's not sure it'll ever be. 

"Can we go?"

Jensen pushes his chair back from the table and nods. "Sure." He smiles at Vicky. "Thanks for the coffee."

"You're welcome, Alpha."

Jared follows Jensen outside with a small nod and a little smile for Misha and Vicky. Outside it's warm and for the first time Jared notices that the weather’s beautiful, bright blue sky and no clouds. 

"You okay?" Jensen asks. 

Jared shrugs. "I don't know."

"Jared, I don't wanna hurt you," Jensen says softly. "I hoped that meeting Misha would make you see that there's nothing wrong with being an Omega."

"I know." Jared sighs. "I just... I want to believe you two. But..."

"It's hard," Jensen finishes for him and Jared nods. 

"Yeah."

They stay silent for the rest of the drive and when Jensen pulls into the driveway of his house, Jared gets out of the car first. Jensen follows him and Jared feels the air starting to fill with tension and unresolved issues again. He wants Jensen to kiss him again; wants Jensen to just take the decision out of his hands and tell him what to do. But Jensen doesn't do any of that; he just smiles sadly at Jared. 

"You hungry?"

Jared shakes his head, even though he is hungry. But he can't stand the weird atmosphere surrounding them right now and sitting at the table with Jensen so close and yet so far is just too much for him to handle. He wishes he could be what Jensen deserves. He feels it deep in his bones that they do belong together, but his mind is screaming that he's not good enough. 

"Is it okay if I go to bed now? I have a small headache."

Jensen nods quickly. "Of course."

Jared trudges up the stairs and when he pushes the door open to the guestroom, he asks himself if it's really only been since this morning that he woke up here. It feels like longer. He strips out of the clothes and climbs into bed, burying under the covers. 

There's a weird ache in his body and it takes him a second until he realizes that it's his wolf calling for his mate. 

He ignores it and closes his eyes, hoping that sleep will come soon. 

  
 

Jensen paces. He tried to sleep but he gave up after tossing and turning for almost three hours. It's dark outside, the moon and the stars the only light illuminating the living room in his house. The Alpha in him is screaming for his mate and it makes his head spin. It's hard being here with Jared so close and yet further away than ever. 

It was stupid to think that one conversation with Misha would make Jared realize that being an Omega is not wrong or disgusting. Mark had years to make Jared believe the opposite. 

It will probably take years to make Jared understand that he's nothing like what Mark wanted him to believe. 

The sun is coming up over the hills when Jensen hears footsteps on the stairs. He looks up from where he's sitting and sees Jared, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt, coming down the stairs. He stops, looking surprised, when he sees Jensen on the couch. 

"Couldn't sleep any longer?" Jensen asks and Jared shakes his head. 

"I was hungry."

Jensen gets up. "You want me to make us some breakfast? Scrambled eggs and bacon okay?"

Jared nods. He looks uncomfortable, shifting from one foot to the other. "Thanks. You want me to help?"

Jensen smiles. "Sure." He walks past Jared, ignoring the pang and the want in his chest. "Can you get the bacon out of the fridge please?"

Jared hands it to Jensen and says, "I'm sorry."

Jensen turns around, his eyebrows raised. "What about?"

"That I'm not the mate you deserve."

"Jared..."

"No." Jared holds up his hand and Jensen shuts his mouth. "I just... I realized last night that being an Omega in this pack means nothing bad. But I'm not right. I mean, my wolf was screaming for you last night and I felt so dirty and wrong about it. I should be happy - Misha was happy when he mated with Vicky - but I'm just not. I hate myself for how you make me feel."

Jensen feels his heart shatter and he doesn't know what to say to make all of this right again. 

Jared continues softly, "Yesterday when you kissed me, I didn't think and when you pulled away, I felt so dirty and disgusted with myself, because I had let myself go like that." He lets out a deep breath. "So, I'm sorry I'm so messed up in the head."

Jensen takes a step forward, wrapping his arms around Jared. He buries his head against Jared's neck. "I wish I could take it all away," he whispers. "I wish I could make you believe that you're perfect just the way you are." Jared's tense in his arms and Jensen takes a step back again. "Let's make breakfast."

They work in silence and the air in the room is filled with tension. Jensen waits for the other shoe to drop but it doesn't, at least not right now. They eat without sharing so much as a word. But Jensen knows he needs to bring up a different subject. 

"Would you be okay if I called your parents today?"

Jared tenses, but then he nods. "Yeah, okay. Better to get it over with."

Jensen sighs. "If you'd rather wait..."

"No." Jared shakes his head. He lets out a deep breath. "It's okay."

Jensen nods and forces himself to smile. "It's gonna be okay. They're gonna be so happy to see you."

Jared nods slowly and Jensen knows that he’s thinking about what his parents will think about their son being an Omega. He reaches out to touch Jared, but pulls back before their hands touch. He doesn't want to freak Jared out any more.

They clean up the kitchen and then Jensen calls Sherry, asking her and Gerry to come over. She sounds surprised to hear from him but promises to come over right away. 

Jared paces the whole time and Jensen wishes he could comfort him. But he knows he'll have to wait for Jared to initiate the next step, and if he never does, Jensen will have to learn to live with the dull roar of his Alpha calling for his mate echoing through his body. 

It only takes the Padalecki's ten minutes to get to Jensen's house and he rushes to the door when the bell rings. Jared's pacing in the living room and Jensen can feel the fear, but also something akin to anticipation, rolling off him in waves. 

"What's going on, Alpha?" Gerry asks, following Sherry into the house, when Jensen steps aside to let them through. "It sounded important."

Jensen swallows hard. "It is." 

He runs a hand through his hair, motioning for Gerry and Sherry to follow him into the living room. Jared spins around and Jensen can see the moment Sherry realizes who is standing a few feet away from her. She slaps her hand over her mouth. 

"Oh my God. How is this possible?" she asks, taking a step towards her son. Jensen knows that she can smell that this is her son, that this really is Jared. "We thought you'd died in the fire."

There are tears in Jared's eyes and the one word he lets out breaks Jensen's heart. "Mom?"

"Oh baby." Sherry rushes over to him, wrapping him up in her arms. "It's okay, it's okay."

Gerry looks at Jensen and he knows that they'll need an explanation. "Pellegrino kidnapped him all those years ago; told him that we all died in the fire."

"Why?" Gerry growls and Jensen doesn't have a good answer for that.

"I don't know. I only found out after I killed him." Jensen sighs. "He was shackled to the basement wall. Jared is an Omega and Pellegrino chained him up every time he went into heat." He hates to see the shock on Jared's parents' faces, but they need to know. 

Sherry gasps and Jared whimpers in her arms, but she doesn't let go of him. 

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry."

"Shh," she soothes and already she seems to be doing so much better than Jensen. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you, JT."

Gerry walks over to them, joining their hug. Jensen hears him tell Jared that he loves him too and that he's home and safe now. Jensen wants nothing more than to walk over there and tell Jared the same, but right now Jared seems to need his parents more than Jensen and he accepts that, leaving the Padaleckis alone. 

He doesn't know how long he sits on his front porch before the front door opens and Gerry steps out. 

"Thank you, Alpha."

Jensen shakes his head. "You don't have to thank me, Gerry. I did nothing."

"You brought him back home."

"He's going with you, isn't he?" Jensen asks, already knowing the answer. He knows it's the right thing to do to let Jared go, but it still hurts like hell. 

"He told us that he's your mate," Gerry says. "You know you're welcome any time at our house, right?"

Jensen shakes his head. "Just take care of him. He needs you more than me right now."

"Jensen..."

"It's okay, Gerry." Jensen gets up, his hand falling to Gerry's shoulder. "It's okay." 

He walks down the steps, letting his wolf take over. In two big jumps he's at the other end of the sidewalk and another jump takes him into the woods. He doesn't look back; doesn't think he could take seeing Jared walk out of his house and out of his life. 

He runs.

His legs eating mile after mile beneath him. The anger and the sadness he's feeling push him further and further. He wants to tear something apart, wants to kill. When he gets to the edge of the pack grounds he stops and howls. It doesn't really help him to feel better. 

He still feels like something is being ripped apart inside of him.

It's late and the sun is low in the sky when he makes his way back. There's someone sitting on his back porch when he bursts through the tree line. He shifts and when he makes his way up the couple of stairs, his mother is there to pull him into a hug. 

"It's gonna be okay," she whispers and he really wants to believe her. 


	2. Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark, Jensen/Jared, NC-17, 2/2

  
 

Jared walks across the second floor hallway. His bare feet are silent on the fluffy carpet and he can hear his parents talking quietly downstairs. 

It's been a month since he left Jensen's place and went home with his parents. It's awkward, living at home again; the home he believed to have burned to the ground eighteen years ago. It's awkward to have his parents back and to talk to them. It's awkward not to be shut down every time he talks. 

Everything's pretty awkward and Jared feels completely unhinged. At least with Mark he knew what to expect. 

And then there's the thing with Jensen. He hasn't seen the Alpha since before he left without so much as goodbye. But his body hasn't forgotten that Jensen is his mate. He can still feel the craving deep inside his gut. Well, he'll learn to live with it. He's good at adjusting.

The front door opens and then closes a second later, and Jared knows that his parents have both left for the day. He makes his way downstairs, his stomach growling and demanding something to eat. At least now he won't have to deal with sad and concerned looks while he picks at his toast. 

However, when he steps into the kitchen his mom is still sitting at the kitchen table. Jared stops, not knowing what to do for a second. 

His mom smiles a little. "There's some toast left if you want. Coffee too."

Jared nods slowly and makes his way over to the table carefully. He sits down across from her and reaches for the toast. His hands are shaking visibly and he curses himself for his insecurities. He nibbles at his dry toast slowly, while looking at the pattern on the tablecloth and feeling his mother's eyes on him the whole time. 

It's only when he's finished a second slice that she speaks. "I dreamed of you being alive, being back with your family, all the time." Jared tenses. He doesn't know where she's going with this and it makes him uncomfortable and twitchy. "Back then I thought I was being unreasonable, because I buried what I believed was your body. But now I think maybe it was my subconscious trying to tell me that something wasn't the way it looked." She stops and Jared wonders if it's his turn to speak now, but before he can, she continues, "I'm sorry I didn't question it more when they showed me the burned body."

Jared thinks that he should comfort her, but it's hard to find the words. "It's okay," he grits out. It doesn't sound comforting at all to his ears. 

She nods, her eyes full of sadness. "I love you, JT. Your father does too. But this last month with you living here has shown us that we don't really know what we're doing here."

Jared knows what's to come now. They're sending him away; washing their hands clean of having an Omega son. He braces himself for the blow, he expected it after all. 

"We can't help you the way you need; you need to realize that there's nothing wrong with you, JT. You're perfect just the way you are." She wipes at her eyes and Jared feels completely confused. "Just that you'll never believe us, not until you can see it for yourself."

"Mom? What are you saying?"

"There's this psychotherapist. Her name is Sam Ferris, and she helped me a lot when you first..." his mom stops. "She helped me a lot. Maybe she can help you too."

A shrink, they want him to talk to a shrink. He doesn't know how this'll help, but it breaks his heart to see his mother in tears like that and he doesn't want to disappoint her any more. So, if it'll make her happy, he'll go and talk to the shrink. 

"I called her." She huffs out a deep breath. "I know I should have talked to you first, but I didn't know what to do anymore." She looks up at him, pleadingly. Jared doesn't really know why, because he's not mad at her. "She said to talk to you and then bring you over, if you'd be okay with it."

"Okay," he says and his mother's eyes grow wide. 

"Okay?" 

Jared nods.

"Thank you." She lets out a relieved breath. "I just... We love you, JT, and we're so happy that you're here. I want you to know that."

Jared nods again. "I know." And he does know it; it's just hard to believe it too. 

Ten minutes later, he's sitting in his mother's car, watching the houses outside the windows fly by. In the one month he's been with them he hasn't really been out of the house, except for the yard. Being outside still scares the heck out of him, because his parents might be okay with him being an Omega, but that doesn't mean everybody else is. Especially since he's sure that everyone knows by now that he's the Alpha's mate. 

Sam Ferris' office is in a brick house in the center of town. The street is busy and Jared has to take a couple of deep breaths, before being able to open the door. His mom is right beside him when he walks up the couple of steps that lead to the front door, but he still notices the looks that are thrown at them. 

A petite blond around his age is sitting at the front desk and she breaks into a huge smile when she sees them. 

"Jared, I heard the good news," she says and he frowns. The smile falls from her face. "You don't remember me, do you?" He shakes his head. "I'm Alona. We used to play together when we were pups, before..."

"Oh," he says, not knowing what else there is to say. 

"Well, I'm happy to see you again."

He nods, looking at his mother for help. She smiles. "That's really nice of you, Alona. But if you could tell Dr. Ferris that we're here."

Alona nods. "Of course. Sorry." She goes back to her desk and a second later, she says, "Dr. Ferris is ready for you."

Someone squeezes Jared's hand and he looks down to see his mother's fingers wrapped around his. He meets her eyes and she gives him an encouraging smile. 

"I'll wait here, okay. I'm not going anywhere."

Jared nods slowly. "Thanks."

He follows Alona down the hallway to a dark wooden door. Alona smiles softly at him. "You don't need to be afraid. Dr. Ferris is the best."

Not waiting for Jared to answer, she pushes the door to the office open and motions for him to step inside. 

Dr. Ferris is around his mother's age, with long brown hair and crinkles around her eyes. She smiles a little when he walks inside. 

"Welcome, Jared. I'm Dr. Ferris." 

They shake hands and Jared lets his eyes roam over the room. It's decorated with dark brown furniture against cream colored walls. Instead of the diplomas he expected, the walls are decorated with several architectural pictures. 

"Why don't we sit down?" Dr. Ferris asks and Jared's eyes fall on a comfortable looking couch and two armchairs. 

He follows Dr. Ferris over and wonders if he's supposed to lie down or if it's okay, if he just sits. The doctor seems to sense his discomfort, because she says, "You don't have to lie down if you don't want to, y'know?"

"Thanks," he mumbles, feeling on edge when he sits down on the couch. Dr. Ferris takes a seat in one of the armchairs across from him. She looks at him for a long time and it makes him tense and shaky. 

"How are you adjusting? Must be a hell of a lot to wrap your mind around, finding out that your family, which you believed to be dead, is alive and healthy." Jared snorts and Dr. Ferris smiles. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jared shrugs, not knowing what there is to say. "I don't know what to say."

Dr. Ferries cocks her head. "Just say whatever comes to mind. I'm here to talk about whatever you want."

"It's awkward." The words leave his mouth before he can stop them and he curses himself. Now Dr. Ferris will tell his parents he said that. 

"You know that everything you say stays between us two, right? It's confidential," Dr. Ferris says and her mind reading abilities start to freak Jared out. "So can you specify what's awkward?"

Jared sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. "Everything. It's weird here, different."

"You wanna tell me how it was in the other pack?"

Jared really doesn't, but he knows that it's the reason why his mom sent him here, so maybe he should. "Different," he says. "They didn't walk on eggshells around me for one thing. They just told me where my place was and treated me accordingly."

"Where was your place?"

"At the bottom of the pack. I'm an Omega, a freak of nature. Why would they treat me any differently?" Jared spits out, wanting to make Dr. Ferris as uncomfortable as he feels. 

But she doesn't twitch, just keeps looking at him. "You feel like you deserved to be treated like that?"

"Of course," Jared shoots back. "What part of 'I'm an Omega' don't you understand?"

Dr. Ferris gets up from her chair and walks over to the bookshelf. She grabs a big leather book and hands it to him. 'The Omega History' is written on the cover. 

"I want you to read that," she says. "And then when we'll see each other again - say in two days - we'll talk about it."

"I'm male," Jared grits out and Dr. Ferris frowns for the first time.

"Pardon?"

"I'm male," he repeats a little louder. "The book doesn't talk about someone like me."

"It doesn't?" Dr. Ferris asks. "Why don't you read it? Just humor me, please." 

Jared sighs. "Fine."

"Good, then I'll see you in two days." She holds her hand out to him. "It's good to have you home, Jared."

He lets out a deep breath and nods, shaking her hand. His mom is waiting at the front desk, talking to Alona and she smiles when she sees him. 

"You okay?"

Jared nods, just because he doesn't want to talk about how much he isn't okay. 

Alona smiles at him. "So, there's this thing tonight at the park. You wanna come?"

"What thing?" 

"Just a little bonfire," Alona explains. "Nothing big. Only a few of us younger wolves gathering."

"It might be nice," his mom chimes in and he doesn't know how to say 'no' without disappointing his mom again. 

"Okay." He shrugs. 

"Great. I'll pick you up at nine."

Jared sighs and forces a smile. 

  
 

Jared's a nervous mess when Alona rings the bell on time. He's been pacing up and down his room ever since he got home, hoping to come up with a reasonable excuse to call her and ask for a rain check, but he came up with nothing. 

Now it's nine o'clock and it's too late. 

"JT? Alona is here," his mom calls and he knows he can't hide in his room any longer. 

He just hopes that jeans and the blue button down shirt he'd worn this morning, will be okay for the bonfire and not out him as the odd one out. 

Alona is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, he sees when he makes his way down and he relaxes a little. At least the clothes won't scream Omega to them. 

"Have fun," his father says, clapping him on his shoulder. 

Jared stumbles out the door after Alona with a last wave to his parents. Alona smiles at him. "You okay?"

His mind is screaming 'no', but he's seen the hopeful look on his parents' faces, so he nods. "Yeah."

"Liar," Alona says, chuckling. Jared's eyes grow wide, but she doesn't let him protest and just continues, "I'd be freaked out of my mind if I were you." She takes his hand and squeezes it a little. "You're really brave, JT."

He shakes his head. "No, I'm really not."

Alona cocks her head and looks at him. "Yeah, you are. Y'know, someone else might have just laid down and died, but not you. You're scared and that's totally fine and understandable. But you're trying and that's what counts." Jared blinks and looks at her. She smiles. "C'mon, there are some people who can't wait to see you again."

The bonfire is only a few blocks down the road and they walk. It's the first time that Jared’s walking down these streets, every other time he had been sitting in a car, shielded from prying eyes. It makes him nervous and twitchy, even more so than he already was. But Alona is chatting away, talking about work and her life; she has a mate named Jason, they just bought their first house and now they're trying for their first pup. 

Jared listens to her absently, but he realizes that her chattering is actually calming him down. It lasts as long as they stay on the road, but when Alona grabs at his hand and points to the place where the bonfire is lit, he feels his nerves coming back. 

"It's okay, JT. I'll protect you." 

She winks and grins at him, but he has the feeling that she's dead serious. She pulls him over to a group of three. 

"Hey," she calls. "Any of you remember, JT?"

All eyes are on him in a second, and he wishes for the ground to open and swallow him. That doesn't happen of course, so he has to endure all their stares. 

"Oh man, I knew you'd grow tall, but what did they feed you over there?" a guy with blond hair asks, breaking the silence. 

"Chad, don't be an ass," Alona huffs. 

Chad. Jared remembers a pup that was named Chad and used to follow him around, nipping at his heels all the time to catch his attention, but he'd been occupied with following Jensen himself. The moment his mind wanders to Jensen, he feels the pang in his heart and the craving in his chest. It's even stronger than it is at home, maybe because they're closer to Jensen's house now. 

"Sorry, didn't mean anything by it," Chad says, pulling Jared out of his thoughts. "So, you want a beer?"

Jared has never had beer before, but he looks around and everyone seems to have one, so he nods. "Sure."

The beer Chad gives him is only the beginning. Two hours later and he's wasted. Chad calls him a lightweight and Alona scolds him, but Jared laughs. He feels like he doesn't have a care in the world and it's nice for once not to worry. 

"I'm an Omega," he blurts out after his forth beer and Chad looks over at him, his eyebrows raised. 

"So?"

"Just thought I'd mention it."

Chad nods. "I'm a Beta."

"Me too," Jason, Alona's mate, chimes in. "Al's an amazing Alpha, though." He smiles at her and Jared's heart goes out for the love that's displayed on both their faces. 

"Yeah, yeah," Chad grumbles. He shrugs and looks at Jared. "I'm not mated yet."

"Jensen's my mate," Jared says without thinking about it. 

"Jensen? As in the Alpha Jensen?" Chad asks. 

Jared nods and sighs. "Just that it can never work."

"What? Why? You're mates, what else is there to work?"

"I'm an Omega. I told you."

Chad blinks. "I don't get it. I'm sure the Alpha is thrilled. I heard that banging an Omega in heat is the best thing there is."

"Chad!" Alona growls and Chad shuts his mouth, leaving Jared staring at him with wide eyes. 

"Sorry," he mumbles. "Didn't mean it like that. Just... why are you not over there, doing the horizontal tango with him?"

That's a very good question, Jared thinks, getting up to his feet. "Maybe I should just go over now."

Alona jumps to her feet. "Jared..."

"No, Chad's right. He's my mate, I should be with him."

He makes his way across the grass, hearing Alona calling Chad names and ignoring it. It takes him ten minutes to make his way over to Jensen's house. Before he loses his nerve, he knocks. It's late and when Jensen answers a few moments later, he's in light green sleep pants and a ragged t-shirt. He smells delicious and Jared feels himself getting wet. His cock is rock hard in his pants all of a sudden. 

"Jay?" Jensen's voice sounds sleep raw and Jared wants nothing more than to touch and feel Jensen's lips on his body. 

He moves forward, pressing his body against Jensen's. His mind is screaming 'matematematemate' just like the first time and this time he won't stop until Jensen has his knot inside of him and his mating bite is on Jared's neck.

"Jared, what are you doing?"

"Take me," he whimpers. "Don't want to wait anymore."

"Are you drunk?" Jensen asks, sounding baffled. 

"Does it matter?" Jared asks back, nuzzling Jensen's neck and damn does he smell good. 

"Stop it, Jared," Jensen growls, pushing him away. "You don't want this, not like this."

"Jen, please," he begs, rolling his hips against Jensen's, feeling how hard Jensen already is. "You want me. I know you do."

"Not like this, I don't." Jensen shakes his head, keeping Jared at arms’ length. "Go home, Jay. Sleep it off."

Jared grabs Jensen's cock through his pants. "You're hard, you want this."

Jensen's fingers wrap around his wrist and he pulls Jared's hand away forcefully. Pain shoots through his arm and makes the buzz in his head recede a little. He blinks, stumbling away from Jensen, when he realizes what he's doing. Oh God, he's disgusting, offering himself up like a little whore. 

He doesn't even realize that he's running until he's standing in front of his parents' house. He turns and looks back, Jensen isn't behind him. Why would he be? Jared climbs the stairs and gets into the shower, washing away all the evidence of his horrifying behavior. When he feels clean again and his skin is bright red from all the scrubbing, he towels off and then falls into his bed, wrapping the blanket around him tightly, wishing for tomorrow to never come. 

  
 

"What are you thinking, Jared?"

Jared blinks, looking at Dr. Ferris, who's sitting across from him. "That I should never have gone to Jensen's house."

She looks at him intently. It's been a few of weeks since the incident and they have talked about it more than once and analyzed it in all its glory. Jared knows that it didn't really have anything to do with being an Omega, but with being so close to his mate and the mating call being so strong. He knows that. He almost believes it too. 

"Jared..." she starts, but he interrupts her. 

"No, I don't mean it like that. For once it has nothing to do with me being an Omega." She raises her eyebrows and he lets out a deep breath. "I just... I miss him." It's a new feeling, one that he only admitted to having recently. The sessions with Dr. Ferris help. The book she gave him helped, shining a completely new light on male Omegas. 

The book told the story of a young male Omega who had to face the prejudices that Jared had to. But he had learned that it was not wrong being an Omega. Because different doesn't mean wrong. 

And with the help of Dr. Ferris and his friends, Alona, Jason and Chad, Jared is slowly figuring out that maybe the book is right. 

He still has issues, a butt load of them, and he's not sure he'll ever be completely free of them. But lately it feels like maybe there's a way out. 

"I wish I could go over there and talk to him. But what I did? It makes it so awkward."

"You think so?"

Jared snorts. "What do you think I should say?"

"How about 'Let's talk'?" she asks and there's a little smile displayed on her face. 

"I practically assaulted him."

She laughs softly. "I'm sure the Alpha doesn't see it that way. There's the welcome picnic for the new pack members this weekend. Maybe that would be the right moment to start. Just talk to him."

Jared sighs. If it would just be that easy. 

  
 

The park is packed with pack members new and old, and Jensen had just given his welcome speech. Now he makes his way through the crowd, shaking hands here and there. The new members of the pack fitted in easily, after realizing that Jensen was a completely different Alpha than Mark. Jensen is glad that the transition had worked so well. 

The sound of a laugh makes its way across the park and Jensen feels the pull deep in his chest. He turns around and sees Jared standing with Alona, Jason and Chad at one of the picnic tables across the meadow. He looks relaxed and Jensen wants nothing more than to walk over there and pull him into his arms. 

They haven't talked since Jared moved out. Jensen doesn't count the nightly encounter with Jared throwing himself at Jensen. 

Jared seems to sense that Jensen is close by, because he turns his head and looks right into Jensen's eyes. For a second their eyes lock, but then Jared blushes deep red and looks away. Jensen lets out a deep breath. He won't force Jared to interact with him, even if it costs him a lot of strength, but the ball is in Jared's court and Jensen will be damned if he pressures him into something Jared is not ready for. 

He walks over to where Jeff and Sam are standing. She holds out a plate with a huge slice of chocolate cake on it and Jensen takes it, smiling gratefully. He knows that Sam's Jared's psychotherapist, but he knows not to ask. Not that Sam would tell him anything. 

"The picnic is a hit," Jeff says. "Everyone seems comfortable and relaxed."

"Yeah, it went well," Jensen agrees. 

"How about you dance with me, Cowboy?" Sam says all of a sudden, taking Jeff's hand and dragging him over to where people are dancing to the music coming out of the speakers that have been put up. 

Jensen laughs a little while he watches them dance. They really love each other and Jensen is glad that he's allowed to witness it. 

"Hey."

Jensen spins his head around, looking right at Jared. "Hey," he answers, surprised. 

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure." Jensen nods. 

They walk for a little while until the music and chatter from the park is only a distant noise. Their arms brush together and Jensen feels every little touch as if lightning shoots through him. 

"What is it?" he asks, feeling unable to keep quiet for any longer. 

"I'm sorry," Jared says and Jensen frowns. 

"What for?"

"Ambushing you," Jared explains, a faint blush covering his cheeks. "I shouldn't have turned up at your doorstep just like that."

"I guess it can happen when the mating call gets too strong," Jensen says, smiling a little. "It's okay, Jay. I'm not mad."

Jared's bangs fall into his face and Jensen feels the need to push them back behind Jared's ears, but he keeps himself from doing so. He's not sure that Jared would be okay with Jensen touching him. 

"I miss you," Jared blurts out and Jensen blinks, surprised. 

"I miss you too," he says softly. 

"I still have issues," Jared admits quietly and now Jensen can't hold himself back anymore, lifting Jared's head by putting a finger beneath his chin. 

"It's okay," he reassures Jared. "We all have issues."

Jared huffs out a laugh. "Probably not the same as mine."

"Like I said, it's okay. We'll work on it."

"We?" Jared asks and he looks small and vulnerable, but there is something that sounds a lot like hope in his voice. 

"We," Jensen says. "It's always been you and me, Jay, and it always will be."

"Take me home?" 

Jensen's lips feel dry all of a sudden and he licks them, feeling Jared track the movement. "If that's what you want."

Instead of getting an answer, Jared kisses him and Jensen's head spins; the Alpha inside of him roaring in success. 

They rush home and Jensen presses Jared against the back of the front door. He pushes his tongue into Jared's mouth, hearing him moan. Jared's hands claw at Jensen's clothes, pulling his shirt out of his pants, so he can push his fingers under it. 

Finally having his mate so close drives Jensen a little crazy. His mind is fuzzy and he only registers how good every single touch feels. His mouth latches on to soft skin, sucking bruises into Jared's neck. 

Jared's smell is making him lightheaded and he can't wait to push first his fingers and then his cock inside of him. 

They stumble upstairs while pulling on each other’s clothes. The bed is right there and Jensen pushes Jared towards it. Jared falls back on the cushions, looking up at Jensen and his look makes Jensen growl. 

He pulls off Jared's jeans and boxers, before kicking off his own. Leaning down, Jensen makes sure that every single part of their bodies is touching. Their cocks are rubbing against each other and Jensen almost can't hold back anymore. 

He knows it's the mating call and he knows that he'll show Jared how good slow sex can be after the first rush is over, but right now he has to be inside. 

His fingers find their way behind Jared's balls and wander further until they touch his leaking hole. It's wet and warm and perfect. 

Jensen keeps his eyes trained on Jared's face, sees the faint blush starting to cover his mate's cheeks. 

"Jay, look at me," he says softly, running his hand through Jared's hair. "You're perfect. I can't wait to get inside of you. And this," he rubs his finger over the wet hole, "will only make it so much better."

"Urgh," Jared moans, trying to hide his face in the covers, but Jensen grabs his chin, forcing him to look at Jensen. 

He pushes a finger inside and lets out a low moan. "So good. So perfect."

"Jen," Jared pants. 

"You are perfect for me," Jensen mumbles. "I love you." He pushes in a second finger and finally Jared starts to push back down on them. Fucking them in and out of Jared's hole, he plunges his tongue into Jared's mouth. "I need to be inside of you," he whispers, against Jared's lips and feels his mate nod. 

"Yes, fuck yes."

Jared's legs fall apart and Jensen settles between them, his cock nudging at Jared's hole. When he pushes in, it's as if everything falls into place at last. The deep need inside of him, the pull that he felt ever since he found Jared in that cellar, is gone and deep calmness overcomes him. 

He pumps his dick in and out of Jared's ass, wrapping one of his hands around Jared's cock. His knot is swelling and he speeds up his hand, jerking Jared quickly. Jared moans loudly when Jensen's knot pushes into his body and the squeeze is delicious. The moment Jared comes all over his fingers, Jensen buries his teeth into Jared's neck, piercing skin. He comes a second later, filling his mate with his come. 

It takes a long time for him to come down again. He's still lying on top of Jared, and next time he has to remember that this is a bad position for knotting, because they're still tied and now he's crushing Jared. 

But Jared is looking up at him and all of a sudden Jensen knows that Jared doesn't care. He runs his fingers through Jared's hair. 

"You okay?"

Jared nods. "Yeah. I never... I didn't imagine it being like this."

"Like what?"

"So intense and mind blowing." Jared blushes and Jensen grins, peppering his face with soft kisses. 

"We're mates and we ignored it for a very long time."

"I'm sorry."

Jensen shakes his head. "No apologies anymore. We're here. We're together. That's all that counts."

"I love you," Jared whispers and Jensen's heart leaps in his chest. 

"You better," he teases. "Cause you might be stuck with me for a very long time."

Another blush covers Jared's cheeks and Jensen growls, leaning down to nip at his mate's bottom lip. "The blushing has to stop or I might never be able to keep my hands off you."

"What if I'd be okay with that?" Jared asks softly, looking at Jensen shyly. 

Jensen thinks this question is better answered by showing Jared rather than telling him. 

_Epilogue_

  
 

Jared stands in the bathroom. He's completely naked, running his fingers over the mating bite that Jensen left where his neck meets his shoulder four months ago. 

There's been ups and downs ever since they mated. More ups than downs though. But Jared still has his insecurities; just because he's mated to the pack Alpha and he knows he's loved, doesn't mean that his mind doesn't run away with him from time to time. Sometimes he still thinks that Jensen would be better off without him, but Jensen has been really good at showing him that he loves Jared unconditionally. 

He's still seeing Dr. Ferris three times a week and it helps too, as do his friends. Jensen insisted that Jared doesn't abandon his friends just because he's mated to the pack Alpha. 

Jared knows now that Mark really did a number on his head, keeping him small and insecure, so he'd probably feel tall and strong himself. Mark, who did set the fire so he could kidnap a pup, because his own son had died. That was the body they had found in the ruins. Jensen had found out about it after talking to members of Mark's old pack. Jensen had already known that Mark had set the fire, that's why he had killed him that one fateful day, but he hadn't known why. 

Now they all know why, but in the end, it doesn't change a thing. 

He's still mated to Jensen. He still has issues. They're still working on them together. 

The front door opens and Jared takes a deep breath. The sweet smell hangs heavily in the air and Jared has a hard time not to crawl into bed and cry. Heavy footsteps sound on the stairs and the hallway, then the bathroom door is pulled open. 

Jensen is standing there, tall and strong, and so fucking gorgeous, that Jared's heart might just stop beating any time soon. 

"So, it started?" Jensen asks. 

Jared nods.

"You okay?"

Jared sighs. "I don't know."

"Want me to help you?"

He loves Jensen even more just for asking. "I think I don't have a choice."

Jensen takes a step closer to him. "You always have a choice, Jay. I will leave if you want me to."

Jared knows how much strength saying this costs Jensen, but he knows that Jensen really would leave. He shakes his head. "No." He reaches for Jensen's hand and entangles their fingers. "Together, right?"

"Always, Jay."

Jared nods. "Always." 

He lets go, knowing that Jensen will take care of him.

__

The End.


End file.
